Overcome Your Fears

Overcome Your Fears

“He who has overcome his fears will truly be free.”

― Aristotle

We all have fears, from a young age when we were afraid to ride a bike, talk to strangers, speak in public, and later on to fly and invest in our own business. It’s completely normal to have fears. But what exactly is fear?

According to a study in 2015 about the Physiology of Fear, fear is defined “as the neurophysiological processes that prepare an organism to perform innate or learned responses to cope with danger.”

And the reason why we feel fear is because “fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger that has been pivotal throughout evolution. If people didn’t feel fear, they wouldn’t be able to protect themselves from legitimate threats—which often had life-or-death consequences in the ancestral world.”

In order to overcome our fear, the first thing we have to do is to understand how it works.

But why fear triggers us a fight-flight-or freeze response?

Let’s say that I have to make a presentation in front of a big crowd. Even before I get on stage, my palms start sweating, my heart starts racing, I get nervous and in general, I’m afraid to be in front of so many people.

Why do I feel like that?

My life is not in danger, right? So, I create that agitation to my body, I create my “fear”. My body reacts to what I’m thinking. If I’m overthinking about what can go wrong: a) I make my fear and my anxiety stronger, b) fear doesn’t let me experience new things, c) I don’t live in the present, because my thoughts are always in the future.

The second step is to question our fear.

To do that, you have to sit quietly and ask yourself the following questions. You can also write down these questions to review them whenever you want. Observe your thoughts, your body’s posture, and your feelings when you imagine your fear.

• What does it really scare me?

• Do I overthink my “fear”?

• How do I feel when fear doesn’t let me achieve my goals?

• How do I feel when I accomplish my target?

• How do I feel when I’m laser-focused on what I want to achieve?

You have to be very specific in your answers to understand your fear and how you feel about it.

How to Overcome Your Fears

1)REWIRE YOUR BRAIN
Now that you have acknowledged and questioned your fear, it’s time to rewire your brain. Change the word “fear” to “excitement”. One simple word can change your approach to your fear, and also help you overcome it. Changing the way you think, also changes the way you act.

2)PROGRESSIVE EXPOSURE

Let’s go back to the example of public speaking. You can start practicing your speech alone, in front of a mirror or a camera. Therefore, you can add some people from your family and friends to your audience to prepare you to feel comfortable when you will be in front of strangers. Step by step, you will gain enough confidence to “conquer” your fear of public speaking and achieve your goals without hesitation.

3)DO ONE THING THAT SCARES YOU

Start doing small and simple things that scare you on an everyday basis. Make a list of those things and start conquering them. You will be out of your comfort zone but it will weaken the picture of “fear” you’ve drawn in your mind. As a result, you will feel comfortable being uncomfortable.

4)SURROUND YOURSELF WITH ENCOURAGING PEOPLE

Surrounding yourself with encouraging people will help you develop self-confidence and the courage to face and overcome your fears. It becomes easier for you to achieve your goals when you surround yourself with people with the same mindset.

5)ACCEPT FAILURE

Everyone has failed at some point in their lives. If you accept that failure is inevitable, then you will be less affected by it. You may not be able to “conquer” your fear with your first try. But that’s ok! Failure is a very good teacher to provide you with the experience you need for your next endeavors.

As a Japanese proverb says: “Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.”

References

1. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4556826/
2. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/fear