Let Go of Toxic Emotions

Let Go of Toxic Emotions

“When pain, misery, or anger happens, it is time to look within you, not around you.”

― Sadhguru, Inner Engineering: A Yogi’s Guide to Joy

What is an emotion?

According to the book “Discovering Psychology” by Don Hockenbury and Sandra E. Hockenbury, an emotion is a complex psychological state that involves three distinct components: a subjective experience, a physiological response, and a behavioral or expressive response.

Can you remember the last time you were in a stressful situation or in a situation you felt anger, jealousy, or rejection? That negative experience you had, together with your behavioral response, constitute your negative emotion.

What are the negative emotions?

Pam (2013) defines negative emotions “as an unpleasant or unhappy emotion which is evoked in individuals to express a negative effect towards an event or person.”

Negative emotions are bitterness, annoyance, resentment, sadness, anger, hatred, guilt, shame, apathy, regret, jealousy, helplessness, depression, despair, loneliness, fear, rejection…

“A fundamental difference between feelings and emotions is that feelings are experienced consciously, while emotions manifest either consciously or subconsciously.”

Many times we impute our bad mood, behavior, psychological state and bad emotions to the circumstances, to our environment and to the people around us. For example: “Today was a disaster. He ruined my day. He made me so furious I couldn’t control myself.” We use a negative experience we had for a specific period; to rationalize the negativity we feel hours and even days after that stressful event. And it’s hard to understand that because we don’t allow ourselves to get out of this situation. But there are ways to let go of these toxic emotions.

 1) Change your perspective

Some people see the glass half-full while others half-empty. The subject doesn’t change, only the way you look at it. You can say to yourself: “Yes, the glass is half empty BUT IT’S ALSO half full.” That’s when you gain self-awareness. And it takes time to develop self-awareness, to understand why you have these thoughts and why you feel those emotions. You can ask yourself the following questions:

 What are my strengths and weaknesses?

 Do I have more positive or negative thoughts?

 Why do I have these thoughts?

What habits can I develop to me help me forward?

Explore your inner world and inspire yourself.

Wayne Dyer once said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look will change.”

2) Practice Mindfulness

By practicing mindfulness meditation you help yourself to accept the negative emotions and discard them (Mindfulness is a type of meditation in which you focus on being intensely aware of what you’re sensing and feeling in the moment, without interpretation or judgment. Practicing mindfulness involves breathing methods, guided imagery, and other practices to relax the body and mind and help reduce stress).

This way it will help you be present in the moment and make you stop living for the past or the future.

3) Don’t judge

Don’t judge yourself. Don’t judge others. Don’t judge your emotions. As Deepak Chopra has said:

“Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance.”

References

Hockenbury, D. and Hockenbury, S.E. (2007). Discovering Psychology. New York: Worth Publishers.