Follow Your Path – Part of Chapter V of the upcoming book “Find Your Passion”

Follow Your Path – Part of Chapter V of the upcoming book “Find Your Passion”

Have you ever felt that your personal relationships hold you back from following your passion and your dream career? That’s because we are social and emotional beings. That’s why we can easily buy into stereotypes. The following stereotype is an unconscious bias of many people who haven’t achieved to build a career with more success and fulfillment:

“I Have to Follow the Path of My Loved Ones for Them to Love Me”

No, you don’t! Be you, and they’ll love you anyway! It’s natural for us to copy and model our loved ones. But this doesn’t always serve us to discover our true passion and reach our full potential. Are you really passionate about law, finance, business, medicine, engineering? Or did you love your role models so much that you wanted to show them how much you love them by becoming like them?

“But, Jim. Role models are part of who we are, right?” you might ask. It depends. Your role models are great indicators of the values you choose to have and honor in your life. If your role models are people who are generous, kind, and honest and make a positive impact on the world, then you’re likely to develop generosity, kindness, honesty, and making a positive impact as your personal values. Your values are one of the six key components of your passion, as we saw at the beginning, and your role models are great indicators of what you value most.

Nevertheless, following the same career path that your role models took does not mean that it’ll be the best option for you and that you’ll be passionate about it. Why? Because no matter how many things you copy from your role models, you are and will always be unique and one of a kind! Your loved ones and role models don’t want you to be them . . .

They want you to be you! It’s just that their actions and values can shed some light on the hidden parts of yourself. They will help you learn more about yourself and increase your self-awareness. But people who love you unconditionally don’t try to mislead you and distract you from your unique path by expecting you to become like them. That’s their ego. If you are a parent reading this, listen carefully. Never ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever try to make your children a “copy” of yourself. Help them discover themselves.

Although my father gave me only the traditional career options of law, engineering, and medicine, I’m grateful he never tried to make me follow his career path in the military. Furthermore, he actually terrified me and discouraged me from doing so! Guess who wanted to have a career in the military? I did! Guess why? Exactly. I wanted to be like my dad because he was my role model, and I wanted to show him how much I love him. It was sweet but completely irrelevant! Would a military career be a great fit for me, even for my passion? Nope. My passion, personality, and values are very misaligned with a military career.

So, remember: You don’t have to follow the path of your role models and loved ones to show them your love. You don’t have to be like them. You have to be you. You can always show them your love in other healthy ways. You can simply hug them or look them in the eyes and tell them “I love you.” Three words. Tremendous meaning. Real connection.

This also applies to cases where you had negative experiences in the past. The other day, I read a story about a nurse who became a nurse because she lost her dad because of a heart attack he had right in front of her eyes. She was in her early teens and felt that it was her fault. Children will often blame themselves, not others, thanks to their innocence. By being a nurse, she was still trying to save her dad. She didn’t let the feeling of guilt go, so it was still there, hidden under her career path.

Don’t take a career path to heal the pain, guilt, or any negative feeling you had because of a past experience. You’ll never “fill the gap.” Because there is no gap. It’s just a feeling stuck in your body for years. Let it go. That’s why the “forgiveness” principle is part of the “Foundations.”

Last but not least, negative role models, whether they were your loved ones or not, can influence you to take a career path that is completely opposite of the one that they took. So, you basically decide how to spend most of your time, energy, and money at work, for at least a few years, based on a reaction to a negative feeling you had in your past. You rebel against them by choosing a path that is completely different from theirs. Is this relevant to your passion, self-awareness, and uniqueness as a person? Definitely not. The criteria are not negative feelings and experiences of the past. The criteria are your passion and fulfillment.

The “Find Your Passion” book is finally out!!!! Check it out and order it to transform your career and life here!