The Value of Self-Care – Part of Chapter II of the upcoming book ”Find Your Passion”

The Value of Self-Care – Part of Chapter II of the upcoming book Find Your Passion

If you want to discover what you’re really passionate about and turn your passion into your dream career, you need to take care of yourself and celebrate your daily wins.

Celebrate

In the Western World, the world we live in, the dominant culture, both in work and in life, constantly acknowledges, endorses and rewards what you do; and more importantly, what you achieve. We go for one goal after another to enjoy the feeling of accomplishment. “Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, I did it!!”, we might shout out. But in a few days, hours, minutes, or even the very next moment, we start thinking “What’s next?”. As a result, we continue chasing these moments of achievement as a way to feel happy, unique, special and approved by others. This culture of “doing” and “achieving” originates from the need for “Self-worth”, as we saw previously in the human needs pyramid. It’s based on our ego, but not the best version of ourselves and our highest potential. The last one focuses on the “being” part of ourselves, not the “doing” or the “achieving”. 

So, celebration comes in to remind us of the value of our “being”. Without celebrating and acknowledging your efforts towards your goals on a daily basis, it’s quite likely you’ll get discouraged quite a few times during your passion journey, if you don’t give up entirely. Thanks to celebration, you stop beating yourself up and you start acknowledging her/him. At the same time, you train yourself and your mind to stop focusing on the final outcome, whatever it is, and putting your attention to the process. Furthermore, you start training yourself to enjoy the process, enjoy the ride, even if it might be quite bumpy; to enjoy the journey; the journey of your passion and your growth. So, the greatest benefit of celebration out of all the above is this: You significantly grow your resilience (and you’ll need it); and before we dive into a few ideas for you to celebrate, there are two important things you should keep in mind and constantly remember every day before and after you discover your passion: 

1) Self-care

Self-care is compulsory if you want to have a successful career transition, and still, be healthy. 

If you believe that “it’s not that important”, it’s ok. I really feel you. I used to believe the same thing. Boy, was I wrong. I was so wrong that I hit the bottom, in every area of my life. It was, at least, brutal.

Hitting the bottom

It’s the 21st of January 2019. It’s Monday, 08:00 am. It’s rainy and cloudy outside, a typical morning in London. But this morning is a tough one. I feel so sluggish…Have just finished my third meal. That’s right. I haven’t slept at all. I didn’t have any appetite to sleep. I didn’t want to work either, as I was burned out. So, I spent the whole night watching videos on Youtube and eating junk food to “calm myself down”, to alleviate the pain. There was no more energy to cook, so I ordered. First night meal: 01:00 am. Two pizzas – I think they were Margheritas. Second one at 05:30 am. Two cheeseburgers, two hamburgers, 6 mozzarella sticks, one milkshake vanilla and one chocolate muffin (only Mc Donald’s was open at that time). Third meal was a typical English breakfast. 

I am depressed. Have lost 5000 dollars in a failed marketing campaign. I’m broke. It was my very first product launch. I was working on it all night on New Year’s Eve. My family and friends were a few thousand miles away. I was all alone. Still am. Took 15 pounds in the last 10 days. I feel sleepy now. I guess I’ll take a nap…

It’s 16:00. I just woke up. But I don’t want to get up. Don’t want to do anything anymore. Don’t want to work on my online career coaching business. Don’t want my passion. I want nothing. I go back to sleep. Now it’s 20:00. This needs to stop. Cannot live like this anymore. I need a break. I check on Google Maps places close to me for a getaway. Book 3 days in Dublin, Ireland. In two days from today, I’ll get my shit together. 

One week later, I have an “aha” moment; a moment of pure clarity. “This failure is not going to be the only one. This challenge will not be the only one in my career and life. I cannot carry on like this. I should establish the necessary foundations to be happy and fulfilled, regardless of the expected results. I should find ways to enjoy the journey, enjoy the process; not the destination: capitalizing on my passion and making a living at it. Because if I continue like this, if I keep focusing on the outcome, I’ll have no energy to actually do what I’m passionate about by the time I’ll make a living at it (outcome)”. 

It’s like being a pirate who sets out to find a big gold treasure and once you finally find it, you have no energy to carry it and bring it back to the ship! You’re so tired of the entire process that you don’t even care anymore. This is exactly how I didn’t want to feel during my passion journey. Because I knew it was worth it. Now, I can also confirm this 100% after “getting there”. So, what did I do? I decided to stop beating myself up all the time and started taking care of me. Developed healthy habits to improve my resilience, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. Started celebrating every day my focus and efforts and the seemingly small steps towards my goal to make my business profitable and turn my passion into my dream career. Almost two years later, there has not been a day without acknowledging myself and celebrating my daily wins; nor has a day passed by without doing my “passion habits”. You’ll learn more about them right after we finish the celebration principle. That’s right. Now you understand why I included the “Passion Habits” as a principle and a foundation for you to discover and make a living at your passion.

What is also great about self-care is that not only does it apply to your goal to find a career with more impact and fulfillment, but at every time you set out for a goal and aspiration of yours. If you don’t take care of yourself, mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually, nothing will be enough to make you happy; because you might believe unconsciously that the more you achieve, the happier you’ll be, which is not true. It’s temporary and instant gratification, not fulfillment. Don’t confuse these two. If you keep believing this, you’ll reach a point where no accomplishment, regardless of how great it might be, will make you happy. You need to enjoy your journey. How? By giving yourself the incentives and rewards that work for you. The ones that inspire and drive you to keep moving forward. If you’re still wondering if celebration and self-rewards work, I’m happy to reassure you they do! Why? Because this is how your brain works. The more things you do that it “likes”, such as exercising thanks to the endorphins generated (the “happiness hormones”), the more of these “likes” your brain will start looking for. It will say “Mmm, I like that! More please!’”. 

So, how’s this related to discovering and pursuing your passion? You should associate all the activities you do for your passion discovery and pursuit, as well as for any goal and aspiration you have, with things and activities that your brain loves. These are your rewards. This way, you’ll train your brain to seek more and more of these rewards. As a result, not only will you stay motivated during your passion journey, but you’ll also be feeling this feeling of accomplishment more often; and the more often you experience this feeling during your journey, your process, the more you start detaching yourself from the temporary and instant gratification, and the more fulfilled you become. That means, you start appreciating more your everyday life, which is much longer than a fixed number of moments of instant joy. You start feeling happy in a sense of aliveness and resonance with yourself and your “being”. This is the art of fulfillment; and it will make a big difference in your life, as it did with mine and the lives of the people who worked with me.

I also want to clarify here that aiming for big goals and achievements to experience these unique moments of breakthrough is not “bad” or harmful by itself. In fact, it can be unbelievably beneficial for you, your passion and your personal growth, because the bigger the goal, the more difficult is to achieve it. So, the more you’ll need to stretch yourself and your limits to reach that goal. During this stretching process is where the magic comes in. Because when the goal is challenging enough for you, you’ll need to do things you’ve never done before; and even more importantly, you’ll need to be someone you’ve never been. In other words, you need to change as a person by working on and improving yourself, constantly. This process is called transformation. This is the true value of pursuing challenging goals that resonate with you, including your passion. It’s all about who you need to become to reach that goal. It’s the person you will become once you discover and turn your passion into a fulfilling and rewarding career. It’s about who you become; not what you’ll have achieved. Because the happiness of the achievement will last a few moments. But the wisdom you’ll gain and the talents, skills and character you’ll build along your journey will last forever. 

“In life, you don’t get what you want. You get what you are.” 

– Jim Rohn – 

So, use the goal of discovering and making a living at your passion as a great drive to grow yourself and transform into the very best version of yourself, your highest self. That’s why it’s important to recognize the value of your “small” unique breakthroughs and remember to celebrate them. These are your daily wins. Why are they so important? Because every big goal and dream you have is a result of many smaller goals. 

“A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”

– Lao Tzu, ancient Chinese philosopher –

Every smaller goal is a step closer to your destination; and you can take these steps daily. You must acknowledge them as inextricable parts of the process, chapters of your “life book”, short stations on your passion journey. And you must celebrate them as a non-negotiable part of your self-care. This brings us to the second thing you should keep in mind:

2) Progress = Success

Success is every time you take a step toward the goals that matter to you, including finding a career with more impact and fulfillment. It’s not about when you “get there”, when you reach your final destination. It’s when you go one step closer to it. Day-in-day-out. One small win at a time. So, if you devote time every day for your passion, every day is a success. Every day is a win. Your defeats and failures are also included here. Why? Because they are invaluable lessons and wisdom for the success and happiness in your life. They are also great opportunities to practice and develop the “Growth Mindset”, as we’ve underlined before. 

“Ok, Jim. Got you. Every step and lesson are small wins, which are equally important as the big breakthrough goal. It’s all about progress. So, how often would you recommend I work on myself and passion?”, you might ask. It depends. Depends on when and how fast you want to transition to a more fulfilling career. In other words, how important is it to you? Check the deadline you set for yourself in the commitment exercise you did in the “Focus on yourself” principle. If you have set it for more than 5 years from now, it’s more likely that your passion is not a priority to you right now. Besides that, it also depends on the nature of the transition itself. Some transitions are more challenging than others. It might be less challenging and take less time for a sales professional to transition into a marketing role than for a lawyer to become an Olympic athlete. Last but not least, it depends on what you believe it’s possible. Remember that anything is possible. But it’s important for you to believe this unconsciously. So, the third criterion is your belief in yourself.

“Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.”

– Henry Ford, 1863-1947, founder of the Ford Motor Company, one of the greatest innovators and wealthiest people of all time –

In any case, I’d highly recommend you work on your passion every day. Why? Because remember that we are creatures of habit; that 97% of our daily activities take place unconsciously, not consciously. So, it’s prominent for you to train yourself and get used to the habit of working on yourself. Discovering and following your passion is a unique opportunity to do so; and when you do have a career with more impact and more meaning, you’ll be well aware of the value of working on yourself daily, and you’ll be able to leverage it for your future aspirations and journeys.

Depending again on how fast you want to make it happen, you can start with 10-15 minutes per day only. You can schedule this time in your calendar before or after work. That’s also how most people transitioned as well. If you believe you don’t have 10 minutes in your day to discover and follow your passion, I can tell that it’s not a priority to you. But if you believe you don’t have 10 minutes a day to work on yourself in general, then you don’t have time to be truly happy and successful in your life.

So, every day do at least one tiny step towards your passion. Something very simple to do. For example, it could be taking 10 minutes to read this book and do the exercises. And once you read the book for 10 minutes, or complete a “passion step” in general, celebrate! This way, you’ll have progress every day, while taking care of yourself! 

How to Celebrate 

So, how can you celebrate your daily wins to keep yourself driven along your passion journey? There are plenty of ways to celebrate and acknowledge your daily wins. These are the ways that you can generally apply anytime, anywhere. Whether it’s for a few seconds in your day or a ritual in the morning or evening, every time you take 1 step towards your passion, no matter how small it might look to you, you can: 

1) Pat yourself on the back/shoulder

2) Shake your ass! (this is proven by neuroscience!)

3) Acknowledge yourself: Look at yourself in a mirror and acknowledge yourself for your win or wins. For example, you can say, always aloud (your voice has an impact on your subconscious mind), “Many congrats/Well done, _________________(Your first name) for doing ____________________(daily wins) today. I’m really happy for you!”, “You are outstanding, brilliant, amazing, inconceivable_____________________ ”(anything that resonates with you), etc. 

4) Self-High Five: Stand up. Raise your bad hand. Jump and give yourself an awesome high-five with your good hand. 

5) Self-Hug: Give yourself a big loving hug. Hold you in your arms tightly. Make yourself feel all the love you’ve got. It feels really great. Try it!

6) Success Journal: Write down every night before bed at least 3 things you did well that day. Keep in mind that not everything you write in this journal should be related to your passion and career fulfillment. You can include any win from any area of your life! It could be a “Thank You” note or a gift to someone, or an act of generosity in general (because cultivating the virtue of generosity is one of the greatest wins you can have with yourself). Could be a warm loving kiss to your loved ones, a passionate kiss to your significant other; expressing your opinion with confidence and without fear of judgment or fear of conflict. Literally, anything that made you learn and grow yourself. It’s the habit of acknowledging and rewarding yourself that matters most. On the other hand, make sure you write at least one thing you did well regarding your passion discovery and pursuit. 

7) Success Bucket: Every morning or the night before (which I highly recommend because you’ll be able to “sleep on the goal” and brainstorm more ideas on how to reach it the next day), write down on a small piece of paper (e.g. a post-it note) at least one small goal related to your passion. A goal that it’s realistic and not difficult to reach in a typical day of yours. For example, you can write “Today’s Passion step: Read 10 minutes Jim’s book.”, “Do the commitment exercise”, etc. Once you achieve it, or at the end of your day, drop this small piece of paper into a small carton box, a jar, or something similar. Like a typical bank account, this will be your “Recognition account”, where you’ll be “saving” your wins and your emotional rewards. You can carry your success bucket with you, keep it at your home, or put it in your office. Feel also free to write down and drop your wins that are not relevant to your passion, as you can do with your success journal we’ve just mentioned. 

8) Share your wins with at least one person from your “dream team”, your “Only Quality People”. 

9) Listen to your favorite music/Put the music loud for a few minutes and dance! (You don’t have to be in a club or in kindergarten to do that!)

You can apply the above celebrations at ease, anytime, anywhere, with a few exceptions. (You can still shake your ass in public if you feel comfortable with that. Because you’ll be amazed by how little do people care or pay attention to what you do! They’re too busy, dealing with their own issues!). 

10) Go to a restaurant you love, or generally a place outdoors that makes you relax, reflect, be yourself, and even one that inspires you! Could be in nature. 

11) Your way: In any case, remember all these are suggestions. You can always come up with anything that you feel you want to do to properly celebrate! (Just don’t harm others or yourself by doing so!)

Passion-work

1. Try all the above celebrations! 
2. Pick your best celebration, the one that resonates most with you. It can be from the recommendations, a combination of them, or something completely different. 
3. Celebrate in the way you chose every day and every time you complete a step/small goal for your passion. 

Feel free to connect with me on Facebook and LinkedIn, as well as check the upcoming book ”Find Your Passion”, by visiting my personal site JimPanos360.com