Only Quality People – Part of Chapter I of the upcoming book Find Your Passion

 

“If you want to fly with the eagles, don’t swim with the ducks.”

                                                              – Harv T. Eker, author of Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” –

 

Only Quality People 

Willpower and inner motivation are necessary, but not enough for you to discover your passion and have a successful career transition. Remember that we are social beings. This means two things. First, we both survive and thrive by helping one another. Second, our social environment, our milieu, does have an impact on us

“Man is a social animal”

                                 – Aristotle, one of the greatest scientists and philosophers of all time –                            

 

That’s right. In fact, such is the influence of the society you live in, that you are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with! 

“You are the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with”

– Jim Rohn, one of the greatest motivational speakers of our time – 

 

Put it simply, “Show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are”. Whether you like to admit this or not, it’s true. Unfortunately, most people do not reach their full potential and don’t discover and make a living from their passion because of their “social barriers”. How many people have been in prison because of the negative influence of their peers, or a negative role model? Especially youngsters. How many have developed addictions, such as drug, alcohol, or junk food? How many people never fulfilled their dreams and aspirations because they’ve run out of energy by trying to deal with naysayers? Especially their loved ones, whether it’s family, friends, their spouse, or significant other? 

The answer varies from millions to billions of people. That’s a lot; and, unfortunately, the norm. Why? Because of one fundamental human need. We saw it in the introduction. It’s our need to feel loved and connected with others; to be approved, accepted, and feel part of a whole. If you don’t feel that you belong somewhere; if you don’t feel loved and accepted, covering a higher need of yours, such as self-actualization, which includes your passion, is very likely to be extremely difficult. I avoid using the word “impossible” here, because I believe that anything is possible. The problem is that the vast majority of people will choose approval over fulfilling their true potential.

Nonetheless, always keep in mind this: You don’t have to choose one over the other! That’s right. You can have both! Actually, by doing so, you’ll build the foundations of a richer life, emotionally, mentally, socially, and spiritually! So, who you associate with is important for your well-being and life happiness in general; not only for the discovery and pursuit of your passion! 

“Ok, Jim. Got you. So, what kind of people should I start surrounding myself with for me to find and follow my passion?”, it would make sense for you to ask. Spend time with people who: 

1) Encourage 

2) Challenge 

3) Educate 

That’s right. Spend most of your time with people who encourage you, challenge you, as well as people who can educate you to have a successful career transition. We’ll call the people who encourage you “Champions”, those who challenge you “Challengers”, the ones who educate you “Mentors”. Now you’re going to learn more about the role and value of every category.

 

1) Champions

First, you need to build a “team” of people that encourages and champions you. Your “champions” are by your side when you most need them, and you know they’ll always be there for you. They’re also positive. Although it might seem pretty obvious to you, I have to underline this: A person cannot be a champion if their personality is negative. How can you champion someone without showing and reminding of them the bright side? Yes, there’s always a bright side and an opportunity in every situation as we’ve already said. But how can someone help you see the bright side if they don’t see it first for themselves? That’s what happens with people who think negatively most of the time. Pessimists are included here. How would it feel if your family, friends, partner, or anyone you love told you in every obstacle on your passion journey “Dear, I told you it’s hard/ it wouldn’t work. You should have listened to me!”? Can you imagine that? I’m sure you do – if you haven’t already experienced something similar. 

By the way, a quick distinction here: Pessimism is not realism. The difference lies in the question “How true is this opinion?”. As we already pinpointed, there’s no such thing as “objective reality” when someone expresses their opinion. Every and each of us sees, perceives, and interprets reality through their own unique lens, remember? This includes the case where the majority of people agree about a certain opinion.

In other words, we cannot talk about “objective reality”, even if most people say that it’s “objective”. Many opinions, which are subjective by definition, do not necessarily form an “objective reality”. It might be true, it might not. For example, there are many people who believe that they cannot increase their income and that there are fewer opportunities during the Covid-19 pandemic. Unemployment, recession, social crisis, and the list of obstacles goes on. Are the aforementioned facts true? Yes, because they are facts. Are they obstacles to most people? Yes. But not for everyone. That’s right. There are millions of people who actually increased their income and found even more opportunities for a successful career transition during and thanks to the pandemic! Professionals involved in industries that benefited from the pandemic, such as cleaning, technology, and cybersecurity, finance, mental health, delivery, online entertainment and education, have more opportunities right now than before because of the increased demand. 

I wasn’t an exception here. Since I started out, have been running my career coaching business 100% online. This way, not only did I cut down the operational costs, but I achieved the flexibility and work-life harmony I longed for. So, I was lucky enough to be prepared and make the most of this opportunity. That is, to make a living out of my passion to inspire others to discover and follow their passion! So, my “reality” is different from many people’s, as well as very similar to the reality of the professionals who worked in the industries that thrived because of the pandemic. 

In other words, in most cases what people call “reality” is not but just their perspective. So is pessimism. That’s why your “Champions” are people who primarily have a positive perspective on life. You can call them optimists. This doesn’t mean that they are the ones who tell you what you want to hear to make you happy, or at least avoid making you feel sad. Not at all! They’re honest and blunt with you. That’s realism. On the other hand, they don’t focus on the problems and the obstacles, but on the solutions and opportunities! That’s their perspective. Their “reality”; a reality that will be necessary support along your passion journey. And for you to build this reality, your reality, you need to spend most of your time with your “Champions”.

“But, Jim. What if a loved one of mine is neither pessimistic nor positive?’’ you might wonder. Great question! What if they’re somewhere in between? What if their attitude is neutral? That’s exactly the reason the first “team” you need to build is called “Champions”. As we said, for someone to champion you, they need to see the bright side, for you and themselves. So, your champions need to be at least positive. That’s the minimum quality of the people you want to hang out. Why? Because when someone is neutral, they neither encourage nor discourage you. The problem? There will be a few times during your passion journey, or the journey towards any goal, dream, and aspiration of yours, when you will need this extra “push” to move forward. Like a subtle touch from behind that tells you gently “Go. You can do this”. And although this voice is also inside you, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to listen to it in the middle of a personal crisis. That’s when your champions will step up and push you forward. 

What will happen if your team is neutral? They’ll do nothing. That means they will not encourage you. Now, listen to this point because it’s of crucial importance: In your hard times, people who do not encourage you, they actually discourage you. They discourage you through their absence and their inaction. You got it? Take your time to digest it as it’s a heavy thing to know. 

Hey, listen. I’m not here to tell you what you like, want, or expect to hear. I’m here to share with you what you need to consider and reconsider for you to discover and follow your passion. And your champions are necessary. They are both positive and encouraging. They are your all-in motivators and cheerleaders

 

2) Challengers

Remember that surrounding yourself with “Champions” is the minimum standard in your “Only Quality People” network. Although they do a great job, this “team” is not enough to fully support you on your passion journey. You also need a team of people that challenges you; your “Challengers”. 

This “team” of yours goes one step further: Not only are they positive and encourage you, but they challenge you to be more and pursue the best version of yourself. They believe in you regardless of the circumstances. They hold for you the big picture. They also hold you accountable for your actions and results. They know you can do more, and most importantly, be more; and they make sure you’ll do it! They are well aware of your full potential, and that’s why they push you to go above and beyond your “limits”. Because the only limits in your potential are within you; that is yourself!

This process of reaching and overcoming your personal limits is called “stretching”. It’s exactly like exercising. When you go to the gym or do any kind of sport that requires physical activity, you use certain body muscles of yours. In the beginning, it feels uncomfortable – especially if it’s been a while since the last time you moved your butt! Then, the more you practice, the more comfortable you feel. So, once you get used to it, then that’s it! You made it! Now you’ll be reaping all the benefits of exercise for the rest of your life, won’t you? No! Once your body gets fully comfortable with the exercise you do, the benefits of the exercise drop significantly! In other words, the more comfortable you feel, the fewer the rewards you’ll get out of it, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Don’t get me wrong here. I don’t imply to start running for 15 minutes the first day, and then go for a marathon! 

On the other hand, you need to keep stretching your body to avoid the looseness of your muscles. Because when you feel too comfortable, they are loose. Likewise, when you are comfortable in your current job because of the stable paycheck, your mental and emotional “muscles” will be loose and won’t grow. And remember that discovering and following your passion is a journey of self-awareness, as well as a resiliency test. And for you to increase your self-awareness, discover more about yourself, and be able to overcome your biggest obstacles, inner challenges, and fears, you do need to keep growing. How? By stretching yourself. Will it always be easy? Nope. Quite the contrary. There will be many times when it will seem quite hard, even impossible. That’s where your Challengers come in; to remind and make sure you continue stretching yourself.

Because they don’t just wish you to succeed, or even believe in you and your success. Furthermore, they want you to succeed and they know you’ll do so. Your challengers have certainty about you and they always propel you to get out of your comfort zone; to stretch yourself and grow so you can discover and pursue your passion. 

 

3) Mentors

To be continued……!

 

Feel free to connect with me on social media by visiting my personal site JimPanos360.com, or check out and pre-order (50% off) the “Find Your Passion” book to transform your career and life here.